Blonde By Design

This cracks me up!

Taking a moment to PEA You!

Our beloved friend, Susan Reynolds is fighting breast cancer.

You can help! 

Even as little as $5 makes a difference toward reaching the PEAple fighting against breast cancer goal. 

Join the PEA crowd.  The PEA fund is waiting for YOU!  (and we thank you!)

*hugs*

I'm all right ...

Hey everyone, I'm ok.  Really.  I'm just a bit withdrawn and working my way out of it ... resting.  I've spent most of the last 48 hours in bed with the Ark kids close by watching every move I make.

In all honesty, I think what probably tipped the scales, pushing me into the depths of sadness was a brief call with my Mom that didn't go well at all (as only my mother can do), then when I inquired about the Christmas card I received from my Dad, the answer I got confirmed what I had been thinking.

My Dad doesn't send Christmas cards. 

My Dad doesn't send cards, period.

I knew the instant I saw the wobbled writing on the inside of the card, carefully spelling out 3 letters ... DAD ...  it would probably be the last Christmas my Dad has.    I was all ready dealing with fatigue and an inner sadness, & that just tipped me over the edge I was holding on to.  I'm not the kind of girl that embraces sadness.  I hate it.

Honestly, I'm ok.  I'm just quiet right now ... quiet inside of myself.  I didn't expect my blog post to cause a stir and I'm truly sorry if it worried anyone.  I thought I had worded everything carefully enough so everyone who had inquired about my lack of twitter time would know I was going to be ok, I just needed time to pull my  head out of sadness.

I do honestly & very sincerely THANK each and every one of you for caring and for sharing your thoughts, your concern and your love with me.  It has meant a lot to me. It's touched me, it's made me cry.  It's been totally appreciated.

More than you can ever know.

*sending love, hugs and many thanks to all*

                     

We interupt this blog project to talk about ...

Me.

It's been a rough couple of weeks, getting through the holidays while not feeling well, kissed by headaches from hell and sprinkled with some holiday disappointment.  Dealing with family, people, friends, and friends that say they're friends but don't always act like it, then add an attorney or two.   

All in all, a part of me was left feeling pretty worn out, beaten up and very, very drained.   In attempts to take care of me and the exhaustion I was feeling, I found myself in bed earlier than usual each night, pushing away the verbal pokes and jabs tossed at me. 

Pokes here. 

Comments there. 

Sarcastic jabs at me followed by comments of denial. 

Negative. 

Sarcasm.

... draining. 

Everyday practically, for the first 3 weeks of December.  Hard stuff to deal with on any day, even harder when you're fighting a fever, headaches & not feeling well.   It had no reality for me or the world I live in or how I feel, ... but it had it's tole on me. 

Finally I caved in and sank into a depression despite being one who always reaches for the sun shine.  The combination of all I was trying to accomplish, being over tired, and the mental jabs wore me out and left my holiday in a very vacant, almost empty place.   

I'm working on recovering from that.  Trying to get my head past it all & the echo of negative words stuck in my head.  Brain flushing.

I'm not a depressed type person nor one that ever crosses the doors of depression, but I certainly have my limits.  The month of December added with other aspects during the year, despite all I tried to accomplish, has left me feeling quite sad .... and emotionally drained.

Not a place I choose or want to be. 

A place I refuse to be.

*Izzy sigh* 

I'll work my way past this difficult spot ....  I'm just having to pause and recover me during an intermission in the rebuilding of my life.  No theatrics.  No drama.  Just a much needed rest and a long soak in the tub while I find peace inside my brain once more.

Just writing this out has helped dig me out of some of the burden I've been carrying. 

By myself.

*big hugs, much love* ... and thanks for listening.

Serenity ...

Ahhh ... bliss. 

Flowers make me sooo happy.

Dear Long Neglected Blog ...

I haven't forgotten that you exist despite my neglect of you.  I promise I'll be back soon.  I have people to thank and things to tell, pictures to post and ... you know, stuff. 

Since I moved in June life hasn't seemed to slow down enough to let me breath.  I did think about ordering an oxygen tank, though.  *grins*  I'm guilty, as well, of twittering my life away rather than supplying equal or just a little time to you, dear long neglected blog.

I've been trying to find the *flow* in my new home (which I absolutely LOVE), working hard at working hard (I have SUCH a great job, but I need to learn to take a break now and then), gardening, I had guests from out of town, a bit of dance with the doctors over a medical issue or two, always active Ark children, processing the good, the bad, & the disappointing parts of summer and in between it all, working on the Kandarhar projects.

Over the past month or so, I've sent out approximately 20 care packages or so to Danny and his men in Kandahar.  Perhaps one or two more.  I lost count. 

I'm blonde like that.

I'll tell you all about it as the week unfolds and I continue to make progress on my *catching up what's behind* program.

The most recent boxes to head to Kandahar were stuffed with Halloween gouls, a fake spider or two (not that they probably don't have plenty of the real ones over there), pumpkins, and of course a box filled with treats -- candy and a TON of tootsie-roll suckers!

Nighters blog!  Tomorrow isn't giving me any rest, so I need to find my bed!  More tomorrow....

*******PLEASE NOTE!!  The link to Danny has his OLD ADDRESS.  A new one will be posted shortly!!

 

Pull the shade, please...

Omg I've been having the worse headaches off and on since I was rear ended.

Can I just say ... this is NOT fun?!

Worse .. I am officially OUT of my headache prescription.  I was hording the last pill.  I can't get ahold of the doctor that usually prescribes it (and knows me and that I'm not a narcotics abuser... i'ts not your normal asprin) and can't get in to the local clinic by appointment until Saturday.  The only other choice would be to sit there and wait my turn. 

That's not happening. 

A 5 star headache in the same waiting room with runny nosed kids trying to out cry each other, climbing all over the chairs, looking for entertainment while the poor little cherubs feel like they're about to bust a lung? 

No thanks. 

As much as I love kids, my head couldn't handle the noise.  Or the 2-3 hour wait.  So, like, unless I have a lotto moment with the clinic and can catch them when they're not busy, Saturday it is.  I'll have to wait until then.

*sighs*

Oy!

Some days it's just harder to be a blonde than others.

Send good drugs and prayers, please.  *smiles pretty*

She's back in bed...

I'm bored. 

My mommy isn't playing with me and Kitty just swatted my nose.  Molly always ignores me - or worse, growls at me and Tuna (the fish) only talks to my mom.

Earlier my mom made me go to my room because I wouldn't just SHUSH UP. 

I couldn't help it. 

Sometimes I just NEED to wag my tail and BARK.

I really didn't have to do the *Outside go Potty* job, I just wanted mom to get up. 

She's not getting up .. but she did have another one of those dreams.  I guess she'll tell you about that later if she wants to. (that's three she hasn't told you about ... just saying...)

I'm going to lay here and be quiet now.  If I don't she'll make me go back to my room.

It's all alone in there ... and the floor is cold. (I ate my bed - FOUR times)

*bored dog sigh*